run.

Excuse me while a take a moment alone.

A moment to get lost in the sound of my breath, my music, 

And my feet hitting the pavement.

A time for me to sweat it out.

Breathing in fresh air and breathing out stress.

Feeling myself supported and guided by the wind.

Challenging my own physical strength, while clearing my mind.

Excuse me while I take a moment to run.

Not running away from life's woes,

Running toward them and defeating them. One mile at a time.

Not letting troubles get the best of me, 

But ultimately finding the best of me through my troubles.

Excuse those for mistaking me for being weak.

They seem to not know this very important thing:

As I run, my mind, body, and soul is getting stronger.

Now, excuse me, I need to run...

it's been a while...

Dear Darlings,

Sorry to leave you without any notice. That was not very responsible of me. I have been away on a much needed family vacation. I will be back with more posts soon!
Until then, enjoy this picture of my little brother and I at Disneyland's California Adventures!
Not to worry, he is not missing a leg, he's just posing weird.

xoxo,
moi

jenn and eric

Okay, so not everyone is breaking up these days. Thank God for that. Those relationships give us hope that love will work out if it's meant to be. Below is one great example of a successful relationship. A relationship that involves their love only growing stronger and stronger for each other...

"bling bling. i got the ring. we're engaged"

That was the message I received from one of my best friends. I am so happy for the two of them! It has been a long time coming and we all are excited for their big day. I wish them smooth planning for the wedding and of course, lots of love.

i wear dresses. and i am powerful.

I get a lot of comments about how I wear dresses and skirts all the time.  People say it's "cute".  No one ever says "she wears dresses, she must be strong and powerful".  There is something wrong with that.  

Erin Fetherston is my favorite young designer.  She designs for the woman that I like to think I am or will become.  She embraces femininity, while creating an image of a strong woman.  I feel like sometimes we get so caught up in gender equality that we forget to celebrate ourselves.  Yes, we women are equally as strong and powerful as men (if someone disagrees, just remind them that we are all human).  However we don't need to dress like them to prove that.  Whoever had the idea that we need to wear a pant suit to the office to be as powerful as a man, clearly had their knickers in a bunch.  Or they must of had cankles and in that case, yes, stick to your pant suit.  But if your matching knickers aren't bunched and you can distinct your calves from your ankles, well then wear a pretty dress or a skirt from time to time.  Or anything that makes you feel confident and also reflects your personality.

With anything I post, if you choose to follow my advice, just remember to make it your own.  Tailor it to your own needs.  We all can be inspired by each other and follow the ideas of others, but always stay true to yourself.  Never follow a path of another for too long or else you will eventually lose that strong leader you were destined to become...   

words of wisdom: cole

What you're going through is painful, but you don't have to suffer.  Suffering is a choice  You choose the way you think, which affects the way you feel, which affects what you do.  So you can go for runs, keep yourself busy, listen to happy music, talk with other friends (about other things), and treat yourself to some shopping.  All so that you are able to get through this.  Give yourself time to cry and be miserable but then- start to heal. 

the september issue

"Fashion is not about looking back.  It's always about looking forward"

- Anna Wintour

life is a highway

No matter what situations you're in, someone will most likely use a metaphor along the way.  I am guilty of saying, but also being told things like, "life is a roller coaster, you'll have ups and downs" and "the grass is always greener on the other side".  Sometimes it just works to use them.  Lately there has been one metaphor that has been on my mind, "life is a highway".  During hard times, life can also be full of road blocks, surprising pot holes, accidents, and other fools on the road.  But we have to adapt and learn how to avoid these dangers and keep ourselves (and perhaps any passengers) safe.  During the good times in life you may hit every green light, encounter only light/smooth traffic light, and you may even here good music along the way.  All of these little adventures on the "highway" will eventually take you to another place in your life.  Whether it's a new city or just a new attitude, you will learn a lot on your journey there. While thinking about all of this, I couldn't help but realize, "hey, if life is a highway, I cannot legally drive on it".  Why is that?  Well folks, I've never had a drivers license.  Go ahead, laugh it out.  I am slightly embarrassed, but the truth is, I never really needed it.  But thinking about this type of 'freedom' I was missing out on, I decided enough was enough.  I took my driving test this morning.  Yes, I passed.

Beep Beep.  Look who has the green light now...moi.

retail therapy: wrap me up

I used to think the only thing that could keep me warm and happy was "true love".  But what does that even mean?  While trying to figure that out, I realized that I didn't need to be wrapped up in the love from someone else.  Not right now anyway.  I need to love myself first and also be loved by family and friends.  But I also felt I needed something different.  Something that comes in many colors and sizes.  I was looking for something I could change once a year, twice a week, day to day, and even multiple times in the same day.  Meaning, I don't have to commit to just one.  Something that is soft on my skin (preferably my neck) and cute of course.  And yes, it must have that little bit of French-ness to it.  I found it here.  The love with that little je ne sais quoi...

Hello lover.

glass half full

So I'm not sure if this is a part of the healing process, but I thought I would give it a try.  I wanted to think about things that are now better due to the breakup.  Just to see the glass half  full, although can it really be in this situation?  Well, that's what I am trying to figure out.  So here goes...

A girl can always relate to Sex and the City.  Fast forward this scene to 9:40 and you'll get where Im going with this.

Lost in translation.  Put me in France and I'll deal with it.  But I'm not in France, so I am bound to feel excluded from the group.  Now in all fairness, I'm sure I was only in this situation once or twice and it probably lasted for less than 2 minutes.  But sometimes you do feel like the idiot that slows everyone down.  "hold on, pause for two minutes and lets paraphrase that whole conversation in English, s'il te plaît".  It's not a good feeling and I definitely will not miss that.  I have been practicing my French even more in hopes of being better prepared another time.  God willing, when the time is parfait,  my "Big" (whoever he is) and I will be able to speak great French together.  Now with my half full glass, I will definitely cheers to that!

love letter

my darling francisco,  

happy anniversary!  we have been together for a year now.  you are the best lover a young girl like myself could have.  although we've climbed some pretty steep hills together, we've made it work and i am so happy with you.  i appreciate all the good things you bring in my life.  the way you chauffeur me around with your many ways of transportation, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.   all of your international meals you make for me and all the diverse people i have met because of you.  i love your knowledge of art and culture.  and sweetheart, people LOVE you!  the tourists, the gays, the wealthy, the poor, the suburban moms, and even the drug addicts.  i talk to them and they can't get enough of my honey.  what can i say, you're lovable.  i love you and no matter what, you will always be apart of me.  i only ask that you make loving you a little bit more affordable.  i know you have great taste, as do i, but i really don't want to break the bank in our relationship together.  when the day comes that i leave you for Paris (don't act shocked, you've always known it would happen), know that you will always have a special place in my heart.  but until then, let's enjoy our time together.  just you and i.  and maybe the 808,976 other people i am sharing you with ;)

yours forever and always,

moi

ma souer

Unconditional Love

According to Wikipedia, unconditional love is "a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs...unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships".

I only have one sister.

She is the only one I would want to have.

For she loves me unconditionally.

my little paris

I think I just found my new favorite website.  Click me.

Photo Credit here

yael naim - too long

Why is it when you're going through a breakup, every song speaks to you?  A song comes on and we automatically relate to it.  It's like the artist wrote it for our healing process.  I listen to the following song and I think this represents what I chose to do.  I chose to find myself first and realized I wasn't strong enough to be in the relationship.  Is that really the message she is putting out there?  Who knows.  But maybe we become so absorbed with the breakup, that we make everything relatable.  No, that can't be it.  I'm pretty sure Yael Naim knew I would be going through this and she made her entire album for me.

I'ved waited for so long 

Outside myself
You see I was pretending 
To be someone else
I was longing to see 
Who I wanted to be

And I've been waiting on my own
I've been waiting for too long
Not strong enough to be with you
And I've been making up my world
I've been painting it with gold
Not strong enough to see you

- Yael Naim, Too Long.

Check out the video below!

Yael Naim et David Donatien "Too long"
by totoutard

love letter from hana

I’ve been trying to come up with the perfect thing to say
The perfect phrases, bible verse, quote….
Something that can make you smile and laugh,
Without feeling guilty. 
Something that may even make you cry, 
Without having thought about your heartache and pain.

It was then I soon began to think of our friendship
How it has evolved
Filled with beautiful memories
Our sisterhood 
Standing the test of time

Our bond is the source that keeps us grounded
The laughter we need
The cry we enjoy
The envy of others
The kindness of love 

In your times of need
Moments of fear
Instances of struggle
Occasions of joy
Moments of pure Happiness
Know that I am feeling the same

For throughout the years
It was the thought of our friendship
Our sisterhood
That has helped me through 

Hold me dear in your heart
For I am always here, and there for you.

relevé

Relevé, Fr., literally means "lifted".  In ballet it means rising from any position to balance on one or both feet.  

I've been making sure to do little activities that keep me happy.  I have been running, reading, attending mass, and yes, blogging.  Today I kept on with the "make myself happy" spirit and returned to ballet class.  At 10am on a Sunday, the last thing my body wanted to do was wake up for a hard and time consuming workout.  But I must say, I absolutely loved every minute of it.  Although my skills are only at a beginners level, I still enjoy it.  The goal is not to become a ballerina.  I am hoping to apply what I learn in ballet to everyday life.  Learning difficult and demanding positions, all while keeping myself poised and graceful.  Presenting myself with new challenges and confronting them with a smile on my face.  Learning how to keep balanced when situations get me down.  Learning how to relevé...

see you in my dreams

It's been a month now and I am starting to move on and keep my mind focused on other things.  However, there is one thing that I realized is beyond my control, my dreams.  All of my dreams have involved him in some way.  To be honest, I enjoy it.  I get to see him again, just him and I in the world that I used to be familiar with.  A dream world.  In the beginning this caused me to be sad, but that is not the case any longer.  I wake up feeling like I just spent quality time with my best friend.  This may sound crazy, but I now embrace it.  I embrace the fact that I can wake up with good feelings and memories of this person.  I embrace the fact that now saying goodbye can simply mean, "see you in my dreams".

tying the knot

i found the ring.

next, finding THE ONE?

hmm.  how about we pass on that idea.

for now anyway.

the only knot i plan on tying for a while is bow.

but it looks as if Dior is changing my mind.  

ask me with this ring, 

and i will happily be tied to you. 

forever.