breakup letter: suppressed appetite

dear suppressed appetite,

you know, i have bittersweet feelings for you.  when we first hooked up i was all about it.  couldn't get enough.  skip this meal, great, lets bring on the smaller waist!  it felt good to not be hungry for a bit.  even when i felt faint i thought "ohhh wow, so this is what being skinny feels like".  now, you did allow me to eat just enough to keep myself alive which was very thoughtful of you.  it was great to nibble on a meal and feel full pretty quickly.  i thought i was truly happy with you.  that was until you caused the most awful thing to happen.  you prevented me from enjoying a burrito.  how could you?  you know how crucial burritos are to my happiness.  i couldn't even enjoy the soggy last bite.  you know, the part where everything sinks to the bottom and is disgustingly good.  sorry but i have to draw the line now.  i don't know if i can trust you anymore.  i may be open to working something out in moderation.  but until then, give me back my burrito.

yours possibly never again,

moi 

Couldn't of said it better myself.  Thanks Chipotle

500 days of summer

i am so excited to see this movie tonight.  i wanted to see it at the sf film festival but didn't get the chance to.  but now the timing is perfect.  i think a movie about boy meets girl that isn't a love story is just what the doctor prescribed.  and did i mention it stars my favorite person ever, zooey deschannel.  i just hope they don't get back together in the end.  i mean for once can we just keep it real?

breakup playlist

Well,  I'm going to start embracing the fact that I am single again, just me, myself, and I.  I'll go ahead and realize that it was a lesson learned.  Sometimes you just have to let relationships burn.  It may be hard, but if you take it one step at a time, you'll start to realize your strength.  That you are a fighter.  I'm starting to now believe that if I never see your face again, I'll be fine because I am a survivor.  So to all my diva's, independent women and single ladies, let's take a bow.  We are special and deserve to be praised and wanted.  And if someone doesn't realize that, we can leave them with this message...shove it.

xoxo

Single Again - Trina

Me, Myself, and I - Beyoncé

Go Ahead - Alicia Keys

Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys

Burn - Usher

One Step At A Time - Jordan Sparks

Fighter - Christina Aguilera

If I Never See Your Face Again - Rihanna featuring Maroon 5

Survivor - Destiny's Child

Diva - Beyoncé

Independent Women - Destiny's Child

Single Ladies - Beyoncé.  (And yes, I can now put my hand up)

Take a Bow - Rihanna

Shove It - Santogold 

words of wisdom: facebook?

You are most like MARY MAGDALENE

She was forgiven much & loved much, and you certainly love much! You are a passionate person, who loves God & life. You have a tendency to count your blessings and be very grateful, even in small things. You are an over comer, and will not allow any life circumstances to hold you down.

Wow fb, thanks for the support!

the dress is too small

a conversation via text with one of my dearest friends.

elle:  take the overall feeling (of being sad from the breakup), wrap it up in a box, and give it to God.  package it nicely and tie it with a bow.  and then offer your pain up as a gift.

moi:  i'm trying but it keeps saying return to sender.

elle:  well, maybe you haven't put the right postage amount on it.  or maybe you don't want to let it go.

moi:  i think that's true.  it's like finding the perfect dress.  great price, color, everything.  but the fit is slightly off, it's those damn european sizes!  i don't want to let it go because i think i will be able to make it work one day.  so i just keep it in the closet.

elle:  right, what you really need to do is give it to the goodwill. or a consignment shop.  depending on if you think the dress was designer or not.  so someone else can enjoy it!

moi:  well, it was made in france, so it's definitely going to a consignment shop.

 

elle:  i know it's hard, but you've already started by pulling it out of your closet and even putting it in a bag.  now, you gotta drop it off, otherwise you will just keep thinking about it.

elle:  next time when you are at the store and the dress does not fit, we have to leave it on the rack and walk away.

Lesson Learned:

No matter how great the dress may be or how great you may look in it,

if the fit is slightly wrong, don't take any chances.  return it immediately before it splits...

words of wisdom: steph

The

earth

that

you

fall

down

on,

is

the

very

same

earth

that

helps

you

stand

back

up.

makes me happy: vive la france

J'adore.






















This inspiration board was created on Snippet and Ink. Check out more here.

love letter

Dear Sofia Coppola,

I just wanted to say "Thank You". Thank you for thinking of me while making this commercial. That was so very kind of you to put a few of my favorite things in a 46 second advertisement. It must have been a challenge but you made it seem effortless. The dresses, the desserts, the balloons, Paris, and my favorite fragrance all in one! Wow, you went above and beyond making me happy. No worries, I can disregard the fact that the girl looks nothing like me. I know you must of cared about my privacy and keeping me anonymous. I understand. Again, you are so thoughtful. You are an amazing artist and your talent shows through your work. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

p.s. love your champagne!

xoxo,

moi

mon frére

Happy Birthday to my brother Mo! He is eleven years old today and that is a blessing! Below is a picture that we took eleven years ago, crazy how fast time can pass by. He is the strongest little person I know and I am so proud of him. He enjoys the simplest things in life, which we all love him for that. I love everything about him. Happy Birthday Mo!

vogue therapy

Once a month, I receive a wonderful gift. A gift that makes me proud to be a woman. A gift from the fashion God herself, Anna Wintour. Every month I receive VOGUE. To me and so many of it's followers, it is the fashion bible. All neatly wrapped in plastic that apparently never bends, causing every page to be crisp. So crisp that it is worth every paper cut I receive. Vogue reminds me of how fashion is truly an art. The designers, the photographers, the editors, and the models. They all create this fashion magazine masterpiece. As soon as I open an issue of this fashion bible, I slip away into a fantasy world. This fantasy world allows me to think about other things and also creates the drive in me to succeed in the fashion industry. But most importantly it allows me to see how divine we women are. We should be celebrated and put in pretty designer clothes, shouldn't we? Vogue seems to think so.

breakup letter: lethargy

dear lethargy,

i cheated on you. i cheated on you by running last night and that gave me a burst of energy. i know energy is your worst enemy so this must break your heart. well, I'm sorry but i had to get away from your overbearing presence. you put me in a state of laziness, drowsiness, and made me feel sluggish. that isn't healthy for anyone. you knew how much i loved being energetic and full of life. why would you take that away from me? i know you can't help it, so i have to help myself. i have to leave you. sorry it can't be our usual slow drawn out process, i must leave you now. while i still have the energy...

never yours again,

moi

music therapy: new soul

I've always loved this song and now it has a new meaning to me. Dealing with this wound (yes, a minor one in the grand scheme of things), has awakened me. It's awakened me to myself. I am learning and growing into a much stronger woman. Will I still struggle and have moments of weakness, of course. But that can only make me stronger. And that is why I am taking the time to share this with everyone. I am sharing the new person I am discovering. Sharing what makes her happy, those that support her, and what she is doing in order to move forward. I am sharing my new soul...

Yael Naim et David Donatien "New Soul"
Uploaded by totoutard. - See the latest featured music videos.

words of wisdom: aimee

You lost a friend yes, your best friend, but for a reason.

You followed your gut and your heart and its turning out to be the right reason.

You didn't lose, you learned.  It's hard I know, but change the view as a lesson learned.

You are a different person and will be a different person in different aspects because of what you learned from him.

So you can sit and dwell.  OR, you can pull yourself up by the boot straps and realize that you are a beautiful woman with a big heart and a lot of life to live.

makes me happy: lingerie

"Rest confident that no other girl in SF is going to bed at night dressed nearly as cute as you!"

-Erica

If it's important for you to look good during the day, why shouldn't it be important to look good at night? If you care so much about your outerwear, why not care about your underwear? Do not underestimate the power of matching lingerie. If you're thinking, why would she care about lingerie being newly single, well then you have the WRONG idea. Which probably means at this moment you are wearing mismatched underwear. Yes, be embarrassed, but listen to my point. Wearing it for someone else is ONLY a bonus. Wearing it for myself makes me feel sexy, confident, and comfortable in my own skin. Which ultimately, makes me happy.

Sweet dreams my darlings,

xoxo

Photo Credit

retail therapy

According to the Oxford Dictionary, retail therapy is shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition.  Spend a little bit here and there and soon all memory of him will be gone, along with your savings.  I am trying to be smart and also very conscious of my spending.  I refuse to let this heartbreak hurt my wallet (and my waistline, but that's another struggle).  But sometimes a little something cute and inexpensive does just the trick!  My obsession with little French things will help me get through this.  So when I saw this tee from Delias, I knew it was made for me.

happy weekend

The weekends are now the hardest days of the week for me.  To go from spending every Saturday with someone and then suddenly it ends, is rough.  But c'est la vie.  I have much to do which is key to making it through.  I am most looking forward to Amber's baby shower on Sunday!  It should be fun and I will have a whole report on it next week.  I'll leave you with an image that will hopefully inspire you to get out and take advantage of the nice summer weather.

Happy Weekend!

do something: volunteer

While walking home today, I passed the building below.  I've seen it before and never knew it's purpose, besides being beautiful.  I had the time and energy, so I decided to see what it was all about.  I asked the concierge and he explained the history of the Veterans Building and what I could find there.  Herbst Theater, Law Library, and the Museum of Performance & Design.  Performance & Design?  That spoke to me.

I made my way to the museum and was blown away.  I walked through and admired showcases of actors, dancers, musicians, film makers, etc.  As I walked down the hall, I passed a man, we greeted each other and I expressed my admiration.  He asked me if I was interested in performing arts.  I let him know that I was but never pursued anything more than classes.  He introduced himself and he was David R. Humphrey, the Director of the museum.  He spoke with me about volunteer opportunities and introduced me to the staff.  They filled me in on upcoming events and galas that I could participate in.  Next thing you know, I was reading the orientation manual and signing the agreements!

I am excited to start this new journey and educate myself on the wonderful world of performing arts.

breakup letter: insomnia

dear insomnia,

we have been dating for the past two weeks now and i think it's time we break up. it's just not working for me. all you do is leave me with constant headaches and drowsiness. not to mention the twitching eye lids i have now had for six days. i am praying to god that no one notices! a girl has got to get her beauty rest and i'm afraid you cause me to lose that. i cannot lose myself in us any longer. usually in relationships it's a good thing if you are kept up all night, but that isn't the case for us. sigh. i am sorry to do this to you. but i think we should give it a rest now.

never yours again,

moi

words of wisdom: erin

moi: should i text him?

erin: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

who knew such a simple two letter word would be such a big help?

let the tears roll

Sometimes it just feels good to let out a good cry. Relieve your emotional stress and just let the tears roll! Often times at the end of it, you feel stronger and wiser. You say things like "you know what, that's enough! I am strong and will not waste anymore tears on this". You now feel empowered and the issue is now over. Go tears! Unfortunately for me I have been doing it a little too often. To the point where it DOES NOT feel good afterward. I end up with red, dry, and tired eyes. I wish I wasn't afraid of using eye drops because they could really come in handy. I'm not crying everyday but enough for my eyes to stay dry and itchy the next day, until I cry again. But perhaps the saddest thing is, when I am crying I think to myself "hmm, if I am ever cast for a movie role and I need to cry, I need to go back to this time and let the tears roll again". Pathetic. I'm tempted to wash my hair with Johnson & Johnson shampoo.  The slogan is "no more tears"...

Photo Credit

i am grateful

I just want to make a few things clear.  I do understand this is not the end of the world and I will move forward.  I am grateful for many things and life is good for me.  I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothing, a job, family, friends, and most importantly a God that loves me.  I don't want to come off as "woe is me".  I mean this is just a little wound in the grand scheme of things.  But don't all wounds need to be healed?

From time to time, I will make sure to blog about things I am grateful for.  They might be serious things like family or silly like...

French Macarons

I am grateful for the wonderful French treat that is both delicious and beautiful.  In my opinion, the best macaron comes from Ladureé.  Specifically on Rue Royale in Paris, France.  If you haven't tried this delightful treat, I suggest you do.

Photo Credit

breaking up is hard to do

Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my blog!  I just recently ended a relationship and it is the hardest thing I've ever gone through.  This was my first real love and therefore, my first real breakup.  A part of me died and I now know how it feels to lose someone you love (I probably heard that in a movie somewhere).  Okay, so maybe no one really died per se, but that's how it feels.  Friends and family are at my side and they all give me great advice, so I thank them for that.  Merci beaucoup!  It is still a battle for me and my mood varies day to day.  I am hoping that this blog will help me with the healing process.  I will use this as an outlet to document my thoughts, emotions, and ideas that occur as I deal with this heartbreak.  

Dramatic?  Yes indeed.   I am hoping I will look back at this one day and know it was a lesson learned.  Or perhaps that I was better off without him...